Ardour

I am so happy for my friends, those who will be flying back home soon. But their attempts to make me jealous are really hilarious, and cute. Their joy do make me smile. They’re so happy to fly home, not realising that some people, people like me don’t share the same desire. Of course I do miss home. But our flames are not the same, their flames are burning ardour, and mine is just a minute spark.

I grasp this life as it comes at me, this is Europe and it’s up to me to do something with this place. I can leave, or I can stay and walk this land. And I have my options to go home, to the soil where I grew up and the place where I will grow old. But this? Is opportunity (:

My lifespan in this place has an expiry date. My parents understand, they don’t demand my return, they don’t have expectations, they keep their minds open, so they ask and they suggest. I decide. They do miss me, and likewise. Maybe they do understand the philosophy I live by, the now, the moments that count.

Anyway, sometimes it tires me, how people tend to judge and to label just because I don’t do what they do, the way we live our lives are just not the same. Life differs for everybody (:

Once upon a time, a friend said that I should “get a life” because I refused to go out clubbing? That was annoying, it pissed me off to some extent. The repetitive persuasions were not at all annoying though. It is really typical of people to judge others, just because of the differences in the way others live. Do we find leisure in the same things? Gain pleasure from the same things? And are we fascinated by the same things? Most people are, maybe. Exclude me. I respect people who listens to music, who goes out clubbing, who puffs cigarettes, who consumes alcohol, who only wears expensive things, the materialistic ones, the divas and etcetera. Just because I love to read, and don’t sing aloud like they do, and I don’t spend my time smoking cigarettes and gossip for hours, don’t make me any less of a human. I just don’t spend my time the same way like most of you do. Just because I don’t socialise with you, don’t make me an anti-social. Maybe if you could open up your minds just a little bit and accept the “existence of differences” and stop judging then maybe I would be interested. Just because I see beauty in different things, live life in my own ways, don’t make me an alien.

I’m always open to new experiences, but for others to force and to judge when I refuse, they all don’t work unless they know how this mind of mine works. My willingness, the sincerity and my interests. Sometimes I don’t give a crap in the things they give endless amount crap to. I appreciate differences, at most interesting.

Do you see difference as beauty or something you enjoy to criticize? Well, we have our own answers. Assalamualaikum (:

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