When was the last time I went through that much crap? Mm I wouldn’t say what I went through was crap. But it was horrible. Imagine, deciding to sleep at 12 noon after hours of reading and studying, and digesting whatever I’ve gathered? Man, it must be damn good to get my mentally exhausted and physically tired self dumped on my very nice bed. And only a few minutes away from shutting my eyes and letting them rest in their lush sockets did I find out the damn VAT’s going up by 20% the next day (today) –?! Yeah, so I dragged myself out of bed, to stock up some veggies and fruits, and a few of other things.
The whole city was apparently holding a damn huge clearance sale, with discounts up to 75% and I meant the ENTIRE city. Yes I was physically tired, yes I was mentally tired – But nooooo I was not emotionally tired. I was ecstatic! Man, bukan inda happy aku liat Fenwick sale. And Versace and Dior and many other branded perfumes were cut down to 15 pounds each. Awesome? And apparently I was in the company of a friend who was not emotionally happy for some unknown reason. And aku pun inda tau, when in the first place we were just simply going to the city together, with no intention nor plans to stick together until the end of the afternoon – but we ended up otherwise?
OMG. What a horrible, and traumatic day. I would have never imagined that it was possible for me to “explode” in Fenwick while it was having a sale, or even, when the WHOLE ENTIRE CITY was having a clearance sale!?
Sedih ku masih to be honest, cos I so badly want to get a laptop, or belikan barang for Kaka or Mama or anyone. Or even, at least balik rumah with something to be happy about, with something that’s worth skipping my rest. I was tipsy you know, when I left my house. And then aku balik rumah; after hours of trying to cheer up a certain someone, after hours of giving up the so many things I want to do in the city; and only a bunch of new white board markers and a very much fucked up mood..? Sigh.
I am still sad, you know. I may completely have no plan at all to get anything fancy for myself, but I thought of those back at home. Well, yeah probably only a laptop and a bottle of perfume for myself, but still, that was it. I still can’t believe it. How selfish people can get. Inda fikir kah apa aku rasa? Ngalih cematu sudah, and I actually forced myself to flush down the things that excited me just to cheer you up, or at least be with you until you feel better — which didn’t happen until I lost my grip on my emotions. Then, there you were, all nice and warm.
Man, ain’t it a bit too late for that? I feel sorry for myself. Really. That could be the first time or the first few times in my 20 years of living, that I feel sorry for myself. Kesianku kan diri ku. Haha! But yeah, gila. What the hell was that? Inda ku paham.
Peace, peace (: