Babe, I can’t think

There’s a 30% chance of me going to the city tomorrow. However, I am still thinking about it — like, is it worth leaving my revision..? Do I deserve a day off to shop with that little amount of productive studying? (:

I did my laundry today! Mmm, fresh! Right, in case it isn’t obvious enough that most of my posts were focused on the oppressed bit of my 2010 days. I never meant to say, my life is overall screwed – or half of last year was shit. I am not bitter about anything. Its what you call, a new experience, which you had no idea how to handle, and hence you have the tendency to be shit at it. An experience could be, a person or a phenomenon — that you just have zero previous experience with. Actually, there was not much new things I guess, just a couple, three or four tops. But its how long I had to deal with it, what I learned from it, how it changed me and where it led me. How strong I had to be. I may not make sense to you, but it does to me. And I don’t really care about you (:

Oh, you know – I didn’t experience any culture shock when I first got here. But I did have a “reverse culture shock” when I first got back home. My first, was in KL and damn, was I scared at the noise and the crowdedness of a not-very clean Indian restaurant? Plus, the humidity and my suffocating lungs – I somewhat felt some degree of what you call: pressure and discomfort. And there was a sudden pressure to my mind to speak Malay, some kind of a force that made me think hard to ensure that I utter the right Malay – and I swear I was nervous shit to speak Malay just to order food from an unfriendly-looking Indian waiter. How unrealistic was that? It was as if I don’t speak Malay with my Bruneian house mates?! Malay was and is every single day, man. So I don’t know what it was, that scared the language out of me. But yes I was freaked out. But I do know it was the environment, the people and how they act, or even how they are – were all unfamiliar and unfriendly – because I was not exposed to it for a good 10-11 months. But the Malay speaking bit, is definitely unexplainable. That was just weird.

And yeah, and then I did have a few more of those reverse culture shock in Brunei – and difficulty with how some systems work and some technical stuff. Because its just different and, slow. But I remember how bored I got, with nothing to do that I practically could rot —- really.

I gotta get back to revision now – I am starting on Managerial Economics tonight. Bismillah (:


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