It frees you

I am so proud of myself. For fighting. I never fought, because I used to be the only one who could make myself happy. I am always in control. I never have given anyone so much trust. I knew, when I gave that away to somebody, that somebody would have been the one to be able to hurt me the most. That has passed. I have learnt and I have felt, the pain so many people have felt that I have never understood before. I remember I used to question others, why did it hurt you, he’s not even worth your tears? Easy explained, than felt. Now I know. I feel so blessed in a way. I feel free. I am so happy. Its so strange, is this even the right emotion to be in?

I take spontaneous plunges into things. This was the only thing that I have never had the guts to do is invite somebody into my world. And for that I am proud of myself for risking it. I have no words to describe this journey, its like a journey into space. You never know. Like I said, this is interesting. Life goes on, and its going to be exciting.

This journey has opened my heart and my eyes, and my mind into something I’ve always imagined. Well, yes I have pictured things, but always, kept my guards up. Because I have always been scared that this could hurt me, although I wasn’t sure how. Now its done. It actually frees you. Pain tells you that it was real. And it feels good. Well it didn’t feel so good at first. Oh you bet. But now I am high.

I am proud of myself for taking a risk. I am proud of myself for fighting. Because I know one day I would regret not having done something when I had the chance. I think that is why it healed so fast? When you let it pour out of your soul, and when you know you’ve done what you could – It heals you (:

I don’t see the world as you do.

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