Its sad that there are people in this world who are beautiful, and yet so hideous. Its unbelievable how people can be so absorbed in their beauty and vanity that they think the world revolves around them. Its a shame when the hearts and the brains that Allah blessed us with are not utilised. You become so dumb and selfish, and so blinded that you become too unattractive. You surrender to your beauty and you find pleasure when people devour in your appearance. But it goes too far when you start whoring yourself around just for attention and to tell the world that you are so damn good in bed. Honey, there is a fine line between attention-whoring and being a whore. You have no idea how much I fear for you, you are losing control of yourself and in your emotions. Get it together, quick.
I know at the end of the day we are all human, that we do not need to be in one solid piece every second of the day. You can pretend you are strong all you want, put up a solid face and write beautiful stories just to feed your ego. You can lie to people, but honey you can’t lie to yourself. For once, put that white flag down and stop surrendering to you weaknesses and excuses that you’ve created for yourself and for the people around you to believe. Get up, get it together and be strong. Stop depending on others and the cocks you’ve fucked to push you along your life journey. This life is yours, people come and people go – they make up the chapters of your life. But by any means do not let anybody to hold the pen. You write your own stories. You hold the wheel and stir.
I am concerned because, you’re sinking too low. This world and this life is a beautiful struggle, it can be a dangerous place and it can be paradise. But we all know, once your hands are off you wheel, once you’ve lost your pen. And once you’ve lost all control – you’re in a dangerous place. Having a horrible personality is another thing – its not the point of this post – I know it could be confusing as I was blabbing about it before. But simply put, you’re a mess. Fix yourself. Quit putting up a strong face, because honey you’re spinning out of control. If you are actually trying to fix yourself, I wouldn’t have much to say but a feeling of gratitude – but you are otherwise. Quit surrendering to your weaknesses and then blaming others for your misfortune. Learn to wipe your own shit. Your looks aren’t your strength when your brain and heart are only pitch black voids. Don’t let your weaknesses be your excuse, its becoming too meaningless.
You are so close to zero, you’re just a beautiful face. But remember, no amount of make-up can mask an ugly heart. I speak for myself too before I speak for others. May God guide us all. But I hope you’d find peace in yourself, soon. Very soon. I fear for you, little child. You’re going down a self-degrading path.
I love this so much, by Adriano Oliveira. Beautifully sketched and detailed.
Strangers stumbling upon this may not understand this post at all. I am intentionally trying to be as vague as I can, and avoid too many explicit details. First exam tomorrow. Tuesday onwards will be chaotic.