DIY Diaper Bag/Changing Station

Have you seen this? This is amazing. I don’t have a baby. Probably not in even, in the next 5 years. Who knows. But of course, I am not going to start freaking myself out by going on writing about when or how I will conceive, and consequently give birth to a child. So regardless; I am definitely going to try this out one day.

Diary of a Mad Crafter

Okay…here it is…the most awesome diaper bag/changing station ever. Looking around on Pinterest, I got ideas from a bunch of bags that I came across to make my perfect bag. It took me a few times to perfect it, and a lot of cursing and screaming at both the bag and my sewing machine trial and error, but I love this bag!! I’m going to start by warning you….there’s A LOTTTTT to make this bag, so before cutting, pinning and sewing, make sure that you look at all the pictures and read the directions very carefully!!! If you find anything confusing, PLEASE ask! I’d much rather clear something up, than have someone waste fabric or give up trying to make it! Also….don’t be crazy like me and try to do it in one day…your back will hurt, your brain will hurt, and you’ll be a miserable, miserable lady. Try cutting…

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Kidnapped Beggar

I bumped into a beggar at the side of the street today while I was walking to get to the cluster. Not that I don’t see beggars any other day. I just thought I would write about this one certain brief encounter which I will go into detail later. He was probably in his mid 50s, bald, heavy, quite short with a pot belly, and definitely looked well-fed, with a tattooed sleeve. I don’t quite remember how he stopped me, but he asked for ten pence; which at first I though he said ‘champagne’ and ‘champagnes’. And I said no. Quite simply because I had no idea what he was saying. But at the same time I also didn’t want to leave not knowing what he was actually saying. Rude. So, I took my time, and after a couple of “sorry, what was that?” I finally understood what he was saying, whether I’ve got some spare change to hand; a ten pence. I had my wallet in my hand. Of course.

This is the part which had compelled me to write. So while I was at at, unzipping and digging into my coin section. He was going on about how he was kidnapped last week, and had £200 in his pocket at the time. I feel bad, but to be honest, I really don’t care; and my brain was not even affected, and therefore, wasn’t even going to take its time to process whether it should process the information into something believable or otherwise. An absolute, complete rejection and refusal by any cells in my body to believe anything. I do not know why. I guess I do not need explanation. I mean, if he had not told me the tale of his kidnapping, I think I would have not consumed myself for a couple of minutes, whether he was trying to justify himself for needing some spare change, or trying to gain my sympathy. I am not quite sure what or why. But I honestly do not mind handing him some spare change, preferrably without any explaination.

Never explain. Your enemies won’t believe it; your friends don’t need it. I don’t need your explanation, my man. I think it just made it worse. I am not even sure worse in what sense; but the fact that it made me have some strange after-effect from it, doesn’t feel too nice on my part. I really don’t want to even think or feel about the legitimacy of the phenomena. Because I was sincere, and this feeling and thoughts that I had; depreciated it. I shouldn’t be questioning it. And I do not like that. Gaddamn.

Seditious

I was just taking one of my too many breaks from writing my thesis some 15-20 minutes ago. I went on Facebook and saw one of my Malaysian acquaintance’s post about an apparently infamous couple in Malaysia, Vivian and Alvin, which I’ve never heard of in my life until a few moments ago. Being the curious cat that I am (becuase it looked super controversial) I looked them up on Google and found pages, list long of news; actually has been going on since mid-July. I have just read three to 4 articles regarding this, so I may have missed some information which may cause my discussion and judgement to be somewhat.. Flawed. But yet enough to provide me with the motivation to blog and express my personal opinion.

The duo, Alvin and Vivian, in one article were dubbed as a notorious couple, and in almost all of the search matches on Google have ‘sex bloggers’ associated with them; not that it mattered. But I just thought it would be interesting, as it was to me. Haha. Okay, they were recently charged for Sedition Act having posted an offensive photo, believed to intentionally offend the Muslims (in Malaysia). They MAY be charged with 15 years imprisonment; in the meantime, as I type, they are in jail without bail. Please Google it up, if you’d like to know more.

I actually hesitated about writing about this issue, I may have some opinions but not enough to motivate me to ACTUALLY last writing my thoughts due to lack of enthusiasm, because I haven’t been following this issue. And I shouldn’t be expressing my opinion based on ONE article (which were evidently flawed, prejudiced, etc. after reading the other articles), especially about something so controversial. But particularly because it could easily turn out so messed up and can easily appear insensitive, arising from my lack of knowledge regarding this seditious issue, let alone, know anything about this couple. They posted a picture of themselves berbuka puasa, with what appear to be a pork dish. So, what actually instigated the need for me to write, was/is this statement or caption the couple wrote for the picture, which I found on Yahoo (the last article I promised myself to read before going back to my thesis; which also was a deciding factor whether I should commence my work or blog):

I understand how this issue has sparked so much rage, wrath and anger. But I don’t really get how easily this has escalated into the need to be racist, and throw hate, threatening and violent comments; so much hatred, which I have read and came across relating to this issue against the other race, and religion. Do we really need this? Some people may not agree, but I just feel that we need to be more civil, and be the better one. I am not saying that we should be ignoring this matter, as it is definitely, undoubtedly, disrespectful, insensitive and certainly seditious. Shame on them. Its appalling. But I just think we (as a fellow Muslim) could have handled it (way) better; in a more refined, yet opinionated way as you need to be. Why the need to throw vulgarity, threats, profanity, and be barbaric? We’ve got enough bad paint from the media; this just adds on to the already contaminated image of our religion (or/and race). Its just apalling how we behave. Maybe we should reflect on ourselves, how we conduct ourselves for a moment.

I guess this post isn’t about what I think about the couple, at all. As I approach the end of this post, I realised why I hesistated to write was because I had so little knowledge about the issue to be commenting about how people were reacting. But the photo caption, I guess, has given me some idea of the reasons for such responses and reactions. What this couple did was definitely provocative in so many ways. But here’s what I think; I definitely agree it was offensive, insensitive and unquestionably disrespectful of them. But that’s just so much I could produce from the top of my mind. Other than the fact that I am actually more shocked at how frivolous much of the responses are/were; I have no further opinion for me to go on writing or thinking. I am in no way saying that people are over-reacting. No, not at all. People have all the rights to be aggravated. I am just saying, we could have been better at handling how we approach the issue. Like I said before, refined. I guess its more about our conduct.

I may not be Malaysian. But I said ‘we’ because I am a Muslim.

Potatoes Gon’ Potate

This post is inspired by an incident I saw on Facebook last month, comments I see on YouTube and observing people. Not that I sound like I don’t have anything better to do, haha! But its just there. Simply put, haters are everywhere.

Over the past many years I’ve come across different species of haters, hating on different kinds of things, for different reasons. My acquaintances hating on each other, my friends hating on each other, or on me. I’ve got it all covered. Haha! I don’t really know where I am going with this blog post. But I think as I go on with this, I will get to a point. Like I always do.

I feel obligated to define “hater” before I proceed with my discussion. Unfortunately I do not have any definition of my own, because my perception of a hater covers a wide range of different people, the population is rather fragmented, like I said there are so many different types of haters who hate on different things for different reasons.

The most that I have come across, are those whose main source of hatred comes from jealousy or envy. Followed by ignorance. I actually would like to think that jealousy is the main reason for haters to hate. What do you think? They could be jealous of your success, beauty, power, social status, privileges, wealth and even, happiness. Man oh man, how people get all raged up when they see someone happy.. Or happier (;

While haters express their feelings and opinions to you, attempting to bring you down, in whatever way they could, usually mentally or emotionally – either personally, although commonly via social media. Directly or indirectly. You should never let it get to you.

Why haters won’t go far in life? They’re too busy channeling their energy to bring you down. Too busy comparing their lives with others. Instead of working on their lives to make it better, they strive to be better by bringing others down (or down to their level). In the end, it only makes them feel better. Their life stays the same. Isn’t it silly?

Mind you, negativity won’t take you far. So don’t let their negativity get to you. Its exactly what they want (;

Never wrestle with a pig, you’ll both get dirty, but the pig likes it.

First Trip to Olive & Bean

I’ve finally sat down for a coffee and a few slices of cakes. I can’t really recall the number of times I’ve walked past by this place, up and down Clayton Street. I would like to say some really nice things about this place, for example, the atmosphere was not bad at all. My friend who brought us here thought it was rather “posh” – Well I guess, that was subjective; we all have our own opinions. So I think it was just nice. Posh isn’t really my word of choice to describe this place, but I would describe Betty’s Tea Rooms at Harrogate (York) as posh.

There were four of us including me, and I would like to think that we all made a mistake of ordering  cakes. We ordered four different ones, with the thought of trying out each four. I don’t remember exactly what they were, but I do remember some bits off it; popcorn and salted caramel, honeycomb, raspberry chocolate cheesecake (if I am not mistaken), and almond slices.

Brulee latte, which was very nice, and popcorn and salted caramel toffee slice.

We all thought they were extremely sweet. Too sweet. It wasn’t a nice experience at all. The sweetness almost killed my sense of taste, and sort-off made everything else taste mediocre. You know that feeling when you’ve had too many sweet things that your mind, body and conscious all tell you to down a bottle of water? Yeah, it felt like every tissue and organ in my body demanded me to find water, immediately. Of course we all hate waste, but we couldn’t finish our slices for all the same reason; they were just too sweet. It was excruciatingly too sweet, I fear for my health and well-being. We joked (or we thought we were joking) about who’s going to have to eat all the leftovers, I was scared my legs would start to go numb and rot. But I wasn’t joking, they tasted diabetic. I was scared. Diabetes isn’t something to joke about.

It seemed like all four cakes have the same chocolate base, with different toppings. Well, except for the raspberry cheesecake, it tasted a bit different from the rest. But I do think the three other slices tasted like they all have the same chocolate bases. Too sweet base and toppings. Hmm, not a very excellent combination. Do I think they need to re-evaluate their recipe? Yes, I do.

Nonetheless, I do think my brulee latte was quite nice. And because it was my first experience at Olive and Bean, I wouldn’t do injustice based on their extremely sweet deserts. They do serve salads and sandwiches and other dishes and finger foods that I have not tried. As of for now, I don’t think I’ll be back for cakes. And sadly Mun and I won’t have much time left before we both move on, fly across to the other side of the world. Because I would definitely would love to take her to tea rooms and cafes that would definitely re-define her definition of posh.

Will I be back, Olive and Bean? Mmm, maybe. I don’t know. But definitely not for cakes.

Anxious

I am starting to get anxious, somewhat nervous. Each time I think about where and what I will be in the next few months. I am thrilled, or maybe excited, or maybe something in between. I am not quite sure, exactly. I spent almost four years of my life away from the tropical heat, away from the need to be driven around, the need for permissions. Besides the need to get my driving license done and over with, I don’t know what I will be doing. I’m going to miss the bus rides. Personally, I would say everything is so convenient here. Mainly due to the fact that I am free from half of the obligations and responsibilities that I have when I am back. Like, family events that never seem to stop. Okay, maybe ‘obligations and responsibilities’ aren’t the right words for that. But anyway, I am not complaining. Its just that, I know that I need to be mentally prepared for the lack of freedom. Living with parents versus living on my own. See?

I have been procrastinating endlessly, buying things online like money grow on trees. Buying books like I am on a vacation. Well, its not wrong or anything. But come on, I buy two novels every other week, and haven’t even finished reading the first book I bought when I first got here in September, 2012? I get excited and get them almost immediately, regardless of time suitability. Like two weeks ago when Dan Brown’s Inferno was launched; my heart was beating so fast I got a copy almost immediately, and that was a week before my first paper?

I have a meeting tomorrow with my dissertation supervisor. And I am supposed to be working on my dissertation right now. So okay. Until next time.

ANNOYED AS FUCK

I am so extremely pissed right now. The university has just sent me an email (out of the bunch that they have sent me before) about my pattern of absence. Yes I have been absent a number of times before the Easter vacation which was over a fucking month ago. And that has been sorted out, or that’s what I thought.

And a month later, lectures commence. I have not been absent since, and the university is still sending me e-mails about it. Which I extremely do not understand the fuck is going on. Last week (first week of term after vacation) they sent me an e-mail regarding my pattern of absent from last month, and said I should discuss it with my personal tutor if my absence was due to personal extenuating circumstances. And I DID.

The reason why I couldn’t fill up the Absent Notification Form is because my reasons were not suitable for it, since they only accept sickness or something. And my reason is because a lecturer was inapt to lecture, and I was better off studying at home. I apologise that I expected more from top 20 university in the Great Britain.

And today they sent me another email about my absence from the 11th of March to 19 of April – WHTAIHDIUDHIOUFOIE?!?!?!??!?! First of all 11th of March was over a month ago! And I have not been absent after the uni commences teaching on the 15th of APRIL, THEREFORE I HAVE NOT BEEN ABSENT SINCE. AND SECOND OF ALL BETWEEN 15th of MARCH and the 15th of APRIL, I WAS HAVING MY EASTER BREAK EATING A BASKET OF FUCKING EASTER EGGSSSS! Oh, I’m sorry. Am I supposed to attend lectures that DO NOT EVEN EXIST?!

Pissssssss me off. And what irritated me the most is that it sounds like they are THREATENING to report me so I get deported. WHAT IS WRONGGGGGGG WITHHHH YOUUUU?!?! I only have two days of lecture per week for mighty’s sake! Godd!

A warm kind-of conversation.

I went out to meet an old friend today, somebody who used to be so special to me. It was a nice, warm kind-of conversation. Catching up and reminiscing about old times. That was the first time we met, properly, after disappearing from each other’s lives over six years ago. It was a mixture of so many emotions; sadness, warmth, happiness, relief. So all that together, is not really describable, but a good feeling. Something that lingers in your head for a while. It was some sort of a closure. But we both know there were too many things to talk about, for closure, that wasn’t enough.

Its funny how after six years, now we question what really happened to us? Well, all in all, it was good to see him again. We have both moved on, but I guess because of how we both sailed without saying goodbyes or anything, and left each other hanging, that’s why it was a bit strange, a nice kind of strange. Re-visiting who we were, our choices, and our lives. How we’ve not really changed so much, and how we’re still comfortable talking to each other. But what made me smile, is that how he told me about his life, like a splurge of things that happened between six years ago and now, like a talking timeline. It was a really really good talk, and it wasn’t really enough. So many things. I guess that was a reflection of how damn close we were (:

InsyAllah, until next time.

Making Money on Instagram – Scam?

OMG. Its been a while since I last posted. How is everyone doing? I am thinking of getting active with blogging again. I haven’t really had taken the time to sit and think to what really happened to me with my blogging activities. I have gradually isolated myself, and disappeared to a place far far away. Sorry. I had a hard time trying to log in earlier on, because I have forgotten my log in details! That’s how long I’ve been away. I’m embarking on a very interesting journey, I cannot promise it will be easy and all happy. But its going to be a mixture of excitement, anxiety, and everything in between up and down. I am thrilled. Alhamdulillah.

Anyways. I originally wanted to talk about a fad that has been going on on Instagram (IG) for a while (and for the past few weeks, as for me). There’s been numerous times I’ve been added by these random people on IG – and when I went to their profiles to check, there’s a number of things that they all have in common. They usually have only approximately, around 2-15 pictures on their account, and they always have something like; “..I make money with my my iPhone 5 or 4 or with my smartphone” on the description space, with a link to go to. I’m pretty sure most of us would get skeptical or maybe, automatically think it is a scam. So this morning, after waking up to another bunch of random people on IG with nearly similar profile descriptions, plus a link to go to; as I lay on my bed I have finally decided to investigate this phenomena. I went to check the link (after preparing myself with the possibilities of getting hacked or getting my gadget infected by virus) in my case it was, InstaProfitGram (IPG). The site simply gives you information about how much you can make every month, stuff like that. But nothing in details about how it works. So it wasn’t helpful (to me) at all.

And then, I stumbled upon this video, which sort of answered everything I was curious about. The guy in the video didn’t specifically speak about, or refer to IPG though, but something similar to it. If you’re actually interested in these kind of things, you can do more research on it. But I was only interested in what it is as a whole as I am being spammed with add requests to my IG account for the past many days, so on my part everything has been detailed and summed up in that one video. Either way, I still suggest you watch it if you are somewhere in between skeptical to interested, or just plain curious (:

Anyway, I am thinking of getting a compact digital camera. My DSLR is way too bulky to take around, not fun when I just want to randomly point and shoot, y’know.

Lethargic

I’ve been having troubles logging in, but I think it has got something to do with the excruciatingly slow internet connection. I had a lot to write about, there were times where my soul felt as if it was going to burst. Not in a bad or good way, but I would say in an expressive kind of burst. And I seem to have problems getting myself to read The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo.. I don’t know what it is, but I get bored, man. I’m surprised. Then again I was getting around to do a piece for my mom, a painting of a hibiscus, or a rose maybe? She did imply she wants flower(s), and I realised it was a bit too heavy for me now. Its just one of those days when I am just uninspired. Well I thought I was, but maybe I wasn’t feeling it enough. I need to get away from painting for a while, and pick up a book and get carried away. But I have missed writing so much (:

This feels so relieving. The kind when you held on to your piss for a while, and then you take a leak? Yeah, sort of. Haha! I really need to get a sewing machine soon. I can’t wait!

On top of everything else, I haven’t bought a single ticket (plane, trains, etc.) to get back to UK, let alone Newcastle.. I have no idea how its going to be like in the next two weeks, but I hope it gets busy. Its been quiet for so long, almost too still, its time for that little bit of chaos. I hope I get that two important calls, both by this week, both with some good news. InsyAllah. I’m going to miss Brunei but hey, I can’t do this any longer. I feel like a rotting log. I need to do something, or I’ll go insane. I need to get back, do something.